My Epiphany

I sat on my cozy bed, my dog's head nuzzled in my lap, my cat curled up on the mountain of pillows behind me, my turtle walking around the room, bumping into things like she always did. My birds were chattering in their cages, ringing bells and gnawing on the bars. The fish swam back and forth in their tanks, their eyes big and bulging, as they looked out at the world around them, and the mice burrowed into their bedding and rattled on their wheels. My bedroom was a miniature zoo and I absolutely love all of my animals.

I was reading a book called Music of the Dolphins and stroking the soft fur on the head of my dog, Shiloh, whom I rescued from the shelter. I was looking for a beagle (for obvious reasons) but picked him simply because I knew he probably wouldn't get adopted, but deep in my soul, I believe that he picked me too. My stomach rumbled and Shiloh's ear twitched at the sound, but he kept on snoozing. "Sorry, Shiloh," I sighed, nudging his head and standing up. All of the animals looked at me. Shiloh shrugged off of the bed and stood there, wagging his tail, as if asking me, "Are we going outside??" Snickers, my cat, looked at me as if I had disturbed his personal comfort by removing myself from the bed. The birds and mice were startled by the sudden movement. Even the fish looked curious.

I wandered out into the hallway. I could hear my older sister talking and laughing on the phone in her bedroom. I slogged into the kitchen to check the time. It was getting late and my mom should have been home any minute. As if I thought it into existence, the lock on the front door shifted. I perked up with excitement and in walked my mother with two Mc Donald's Bags. I rushed over to help her, partially because I was a helpful kid, but also because I was starving. I gave her a hug, took the bags into kitchen and sat down at the breakfast bar. I rummaged through them and brought out my all time favorite Big Mac...with bacon. I broke open the box, slipped my fingers under the sandwich and hoisted the magnificent burger to my mouth. Finally, I bit into it and flavor exploded in my mouth. The lettuce crunched in between my molars and the patty, Secret Sauce and pickles all danced and swirled as I chewed. It was the best thing I'd ever tasted. I took another bite, and another and then from somewhere deep in this vast universe, a thought popped into my head. And that thought was: I love animals, so why am I eating them?

My eyes shot open and I looked down at my pup, who was begging for a sample. "What's the difference," I asked myself, "between Shiloh and the cow that was made into this burger? How could I love my pets so dearly, but feel nothing for animals on a farm?" I sat down at the computer and searched 'vegetarian'. I did indeed finish the burger, but while I did, I read up on why vegetarianism was a healthy way of living and everything you needed to know before deciding to make the change. Getting enough protein was the most important concern. Over and over, I read that vegetarians lack protein that is easily found in meat and must obtain it from foods like beans, nuts, grains and certain vegetables. I also saw some mildly informative information about animal cruelty. I told my mom of my decision to go vegetarian and she began to express to me some of the same kinds of concerns that I'd found on the sites. "Mom, I know what I need," I assured her. "I read all about it online."

The following night after work, Mom and I ventured over to Whole Foods (which was not so common back then) where they sold a much wider variety of products specific to a vegetarian diet. The prices were high, but she wanted to support my decision and she wanted me to do it safely, so we explored the aisles together. I remember being intimidated by all of the weird products such as rice milk, tofu and flaxseed oil and it didn't feel very inviting with the dark lighting and narrow crowded aisles. The staff was rushing around and it was hard to get a question in. I began to wonder if I was making the right decision. We loaded up the cart with things to try like soy milk, vegetarian chili, an array of vegetables that were new to me and of course, the coveted B-12 supplement.

After sometime as a vegetarian, I longed to sink my teeth into another Big Mac. I went online again and discovered organic and free-range farming, which meant that the cows are not kept in cramped, filthy stalls and fed harmful hormones. Instead, they are fed a healthy vegetarian diet and are free to roam in spacious fencings. Mom and I found another healthy food store called Wild Oats (I miss Wild Oats!) and when we stepped in, we immediately felt the warmth of the staff as we were greeted by a produce member. The aisles were more open and less crowded. We gathered a few things in produce and then went to the meat department. There was a freezer full of meat patties of all types: beef, bison, salmon and tuna. We selected a box of organic, free-range beef patties and checked out.

When we got home, my mother pulled out a skillet and set it on the stove. There was the CLICK! CLICK! CLICK! and then the WHOOSH! of the pilot being fired up. I sat at the breakfast bar again, waiting anxiously. Again wondering: Am I making the right decision? I heard the sizzle of oil as it hit the hot pan and when she set the patty down, the noise grew louder and then fizzled out. After a few minutes, the smell of cooking animal flesh filled the kitchen; a wonderful smell back then, absolutely repulsive years later. When it was done, my mom put it on a bun with some ketchup, mayo, lettuce and a tomato slice and set it before me. Greedily, I picked it up and took a bite. As I chewed, disappointment hung in the air around me.

"What's wrong?" my mother asked.

"It's not the same as a Big Mac," I moped.

I also realized that wether it was raised humanely or not, I was still eating a slaughtered animal and I began to feel guilty. I put the burger down and with tears in my eyes, I said, "You guys can have the rest of those burgers." I ran to my bedroom, cried myself to sleep and I never wanted to eat meat again.

When I started high school, I met a girl and she introduced me to P.E.T.A. , People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. I saw how the animals were raised and slaughtered, often still alive and highly aware of what is happening to them. The dairy cows are hooked up to milking machines. Hens are kept in cramped, filthy cages that they can barely turn around in and they are overfed to keep the calories up so they can lay more eggs. All of this new information broke my heart and I took the diet even further and went vegan, which is the absence of all animal by-product including dairy, eggs, gelatin and even wearing fur and leather.

After just two months however, I was craving my two weaknesses, cheese and chocolate. I took to dark chocolate (many, but not all, are free of dairy), but the soy cheeses that I experimented were gross and wouldn't even melt. I went back to being just vegetarian. That is until my mother noticed that my memory wasn't as sharp as it used to be and that I was a little sluggish. She wondered if I was getting enough protein and suggested that I go back to eating seafood, which would make me a pescetarian. Seafood was really the only meat that I craved by then, so I agreed and added fish back into my diet.

I was 12 years old when I first made the decision to stop eating animals and now I am 28 and Vegan as of November 2016. Between those 16 years, I've wrestled with myself as a pescetarian, vegetarian, vegan, back to vegetarian, back to pescetarian over and over and over. I read that pole caught fishing is humane and that if I buy organic dairy and eggs, the animals are treated ok, but now that the internet is bigger than ever, I've finally learned that any corporate business that deals with animals can pretty much be guaranteed to IN-HUMANE. The FDA li es and animals are exploited and there were no more excuses not to go Vegan. Even mores, I found out that all animal products are unhealthy, no matter how clever the industry gets in describing them as so. Did you know that, by law, eggs cannot use the word "healthy" to describe the product?! It was weighing heavily on my mind, so last year, about a week before Thanksgiving, I made the decision. I finished any dairy products that were left in my refrigerator (which wasn't much thankfully) and was Vegan from then on out. I am so happy that I finally made the connection and as cliché as this sounds, my only regret is that I didn't make it sooner!

I hope you enjoyed reading my story. I just want you to know that I struggled too. A lot of people think that it's so much easier for an animal lover to go vegan, but that's not true. I had the same agonizing craving for meat and cheese in the beginning. But I fought it and now? The thought of eating any of it completely disgusts me. Please follow my blog for more inspiration, information and delicious vegan recipes! And remember, you don't have to go vegan overnight! Baby steps is perfectly fine. Just please don't tell me, "I could NEVER go vegan!" Because trust me. You can ;)

Note: Pictured above is Penelope, a beautiful cow who lives at Spring Mountain Ranch in Red Rock Canyon and will never become someone's food <3

#vegan #vegetarian #awareness #crueltyfree #meat #dairy #fish #animals #love #inspiration #valuealllife